Introduction
I share this in 2025 as a 29 year old young woman living in the countryside. When I originally wrote this, I was 21 and living just outside Birmingham. But as I re-read what I wrote 8 years ago, I still wholeheartedly believe the same. The spark within me hasn’t faded at all. In fact, as I’ve grown throughout my 20s, I realize the fire in my belly is even more alight than ever.
I started writing and running years ago; I tell the story in this piece over here. It helped me understand that I didn’t feel like I fit in with the other girls.. And I wanted to share my own message. A message of self love, of confidence and pure joy. I wanted young women to believe in themselves, love that they’re different, not hate it.
I felt so skinny back in my teenage years. And I struggled with confidence and mental health. And so, running (and then strength training too) was the road to confidence and self belief. My whole journey proved to me that I wasn’t doing this to be a particular weight.
I was running and still do run for the joy of it. I don’t check the scales. I check in with my own thoughts and make sure I’m happy.
So, here’s a story from 21 year old me..
A friend recently told me she would be “going on a diet”. When I asked her why out of confusion because I didn’t see the root of her reason, she said “to lose weight Kate”. This got me thinking about what numbers on a scale really mean.
After a long hard think, I reached the simple conclusion that the answer is in the question. The numbers are exactly that. They do not define us, yet I ask you this…
How are we living in a society that teaches us to interpret a screen of little black dashes as an indicator of who we are?
I then find myself facing the question, who are we? You are defined by the things you do every day, the relationships you have and maintain, the things you choose to invest your heart, soul and money in, the beliefs you choose to hold and everything you take an interest in.
We’re taught to read the numbers, on a scale..
Still, we have become fixated on the idea that the bigger the number, the worse this is. Let me clarify that I’m not saying by any stretch of the imagination that weight is not important. Weight is important, but it should not change the way you see yourself, nor should it control you or your life.
“At school I used to choose between vegetables or salad. I hated the salad because I didn’t enjoy it, I knew I wouldn’t eat it and even if I did, I wouldn’t be full up. I’d always want the cake an hour later… The dinner ladies used to check our plates for veg on the way out and we’d be forced to sit back down until all the carrots were gone”.
Healthy doesn’t mean skinny. Healthy means happy in the body you live in. It’s a mental state, or at least I believe it is, or should be. Society rams it down our throats that to ‘get healthier’ is code for ‘lose weight’. Except for the cases of sheer obesity, I have to disagree.
Society defines “healthy”, but is it?
Society has chained us to the idea that to be healthy means to cut all sugar and fat out, never drink alcohol and exercise if you’re not working, sleeping or eating. But for so many people, ‘dieting’ makes you lose the enjoyment of food because the idea that too much is bad is ingrained on us.
I’m no dietitian or healthy-eating specialist so I can’t tell you exactly what to eat, and importantly what not to eat. But I am a 21 year old young woman living in Birmingham and I, like thousands of others, have been a victim of the message of our own society.
It has good intentions to be a ‘healthy’ weight, but it does so by suffocating us and often causing more self-hate than self-love. Is it just me that thinks this world needs more love? But even then, when we do give a compliment to someone, they are then accused of fishing for compliments.
Online compliments on our physical selves
I have scrolled through so many selfies of young women to see other young women commenting giving them compliments alike “pretty girlie” or “little stunner”. We can’t win; society tells us we’re not the right size so when we try and spread more love to other society members, others claim the selfie taker is posting for attention.
There are women out there who fit a size 14 jeans, heck even 10 or 12, and they put themselves down because they say they need to lose weight. But do they? If they eat a balanced diet, exercise when they can and still enjoy food, what’s your problem society?
I can honestly say that I would rather be a size 14 in my jeans, eat a range of healthy foods and get my exercise than be a size 0 and have zero life within me because society tells me I shouldn’t eat too much. These messages are not encouraging. They are slowly trapping us into a state of poor self-esteem, in which we see those numbers as who we are. And this is wrong.
My motivation for my blogs is often rooted in the lyrics of songs. This one, for example, was provoked by Katy Perry’s song “Chained to the Rhythm” during a run. As I’ve explained, society paints the picture of ‘health’ as a structure of ‘five a day’ and ‘one hour of daily exercise’, but I think it should be a little more like R.E.G.G.A.E; Relax, Eat Good, Get Active.. but with Ease.
A good diet is important, but we shouldn’t feel imprisoned into a fixed lifestyle. Food is for more than mere consumption, we’re not cavemen anymore. Have we forgotten the enjoyment!?
Where is the L.O.V.E?
Life is for living, not just existing in what is sometimes the prison of society. It’s for opening your taste buds and using the senses we are given as humans. Our bodies are incredible machines, built with hundreds of muscles, nerves and veins. They’re not just for scrolling your thumb through Instagram and Facebook.
Ed Sheeran’s “What Do I Know?” encourages us to “just remember life is more than fitting in your jeans, it’s love and understanding positivity”.
I don’t think it’s the fast food that’s the bigger problem, but more how fast we negatively respond to and shoot down anyone who doesn’t fit the criteria of ‘fit and healthy’ in this society.
If “Love can change the world in a moment”, why are we slowing killing ourselves with hate and pressure? Preach it Ed.
Closing the story
I want to use my platform for the right reasons; to encourage young women to believe in themselves, to start running, and to show them that running can be a part of your life to help your confidence and bring you joy! I always remember telling my mom something quite sad, when I severely struggling myself…
If I don’t change the world like the Prime Minister or Ghandi, it’s not very impressive is it?
And she’d say this; and it’s up there with the best pieces of advice she’s given me, though I didn’t know it at the time.
You don’t have to impress anyone Kate. You don’t have to impress anyone to be loved. Be your own world
If society’s messaging was a bit more like my mums, women would feel far happier, stronger and braver…
Written by Katie McDonald, Updated 23rd March 2025.
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